Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

Misplaced Blame & the Resulting (Misplaced) Guilt

Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve has no business not being on the original Midnights track list.

When I said this on TikTok, I got a barrage of comments saying why it wasn’t, and I would like to respond to each justification individually.

1.      “It’s track 19 because she mentions being 19.” Dear John is track 5 and still works there amongst an array of songs covering various topics, as Midnights does. Fifteen and 22 are tracks 2 and 6 respectively and still work. I see how it’s cool, I do, but I don’t think it’s enough reasoning to kick it out of the original 13 tracks when it’s better than many of them.

2.      “It would take away attention from the other songs.” This really boggles my mind—if what you’re saying is that the content matter is too heavy to match the rest of the album, may I point to again Dear John which was included as a main track, Soon You’ll Get Better as a main track, and of course, All Too Well.

All of these songs are heavy-hitters, but I wouldn’t say they detract from the other songs on their respective albums. And I also wouldn’t give other main Midnights tracks like Maroon, You’re on Your Own, Kid, and Labyrinth so little credit that they don’t match the vulnerability and sense of loss (although perhaps not as intensely or in the same manner) as Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve (WCS) does.

But this line of thinking may shortly devolve into what I think the original 13 tracks should’ve been, which isn’t the point of this.

So, let’s talk about how good track 19 is, alongside its religious imagery and themes, and how it uses the semantics of auxiliary verbs to emphasize unfair power dynamics!

Part I: YOU SHOULD’VE KNOWN

Firstly, let’s define the differences between these verbs:

• Would expresses the potential of something happening that may not. It would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one. I would die for you in secret. I wish you would. I would’ve stayed on my knees.

• Could expresses the possibility of something happening in the future. Just think of the fun things we could do. We could leave the Christmas lights up till January. You could be the one that I love. Taylor subverts this use with “if”—IF you hadn’t, then I COULD have. This puts the onus on the subject, the one with the power who instigates these situations: If you never saved me from boredom, I could've gone on as I was.

• Should expresses something you ought to do or must do. You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk. You should’ve said no. If you wanted me, you really should’ve showed.

And most importantly, as many have noticed, WCS repeats “would” and “could” in the verses, but never “should.” Could and would semantically allow for more flexibility in a situation. But the song that so closely ties to WCS—Dear John—uses “should” as the crux of the chorus: I should’ve known. Taylor perhaps omits “should” in the verses to reject any blame that’s been placed upon herself, by the public as well as herself, as she blames herself in Dear John to an extent (although quite sardonically at points).

In a stroke of genius Swiftonian writing, the final line chides: You should’ve known. As if to say “perhaps I should have known you would hurt me this way, but actually you should have known not to hurt someone that has no qualms airing your behavior to my millions of fans in one of the most heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever written.”

Furthermore, would, could, and should all express the possibility of something. The verbs used to describe the actuality instead of possibility are will, can, and shall. But she uses would, could, and should because this is the language used to perpetuate rape culture.

She should have dressed differently; if she hadn’t of done this, then he wouldn’t have done that. The possibility of it leaves room for women to be blamed, and these possibilities are pushed in front of the realities—that the predator took advantage, that the perpetrator made a conscious effort to inflict harm.

If you would've blinked then I would've
Looked away at the first glance

This is where we start in the song—with bargaining, a stage of grief in which you entertain “what if” scenarios. Although she engages with this language, she just as easily flips it on its head in the next part of the lyric to show how predatory men often make the first move while women are blamed. Blamed for falling prey to someone they look up to, or are employed by, or any number of unequal dynamics young women and girls find themselves in with men in positions of power.

She makes it clear that she did not seek out this relationship, and instead wishes she had been left wondering “what if.” She also appropriately puts the blame on the subject with the next line, “if you tasted poison, you could’ve spit me out at the first chance.” This man KNEW that a 19-year-old Taylor Swift should not have been a romantic option to someone so much older and more successful—she should have been poison to him, something that wouldn’t even be in his “diet.”

What I love about this line too is the “forbidden fruit” language used when sexualizing teenage girls to further the religious imagery used throughout the song. Forbidden fruit is a religious allusion to Eve, the first woman, eating the fruit forbade by God in the Garden of Eden and then sharing it with Adam.

This is considered to be what “poisoned” human souls and plays into the idea of blaming women first. Eve is often considered the original sinner.

The issue Taylor alludes to here is that teenage girls aren’t “forbidden fruit,” they’re not to be consumed or cheekily desired. They’re just girls.

If I was some paint, did it splatter
On a promising grown man?

This line in particular ties the song back to rape culture. A “promising grown man” is a play on the term “promising young man,” the idea that the future of a young man who has committed a sexual act of violence is more important than the damage caused by that act. This term was also subverted for the movie Promising Young Woman.

In this case, she asks the audience why he is allowed to continue on with his life peacefully while she has to forever unpack the trauma his actions have caused her, while also shouldering the blame? And if he can easily “wash his hands” of her, of this paint, then how sorry for him should we really feel?

Not very.

Part II: STAINED GLASS WINDOWS IN MY MIND

Now back to religion. Before this relationship, all she used to do was pray—and if this relationship never happened, she would’ve stayed on her knees, she would’ve kept praying, she wouldn’t have lost faith, she would’ve gone with the righteous.

The devil is a liar, a power that takes advantage of your worst impulses. In WCS, the devil in question is the subject—and to dance with the devil is to engage in risky or immoral behavior.

Taylor uses this archetype of a young, naïve, religious girl who believes that following the rules, following your morals, being good, will lead you to also lead a good life. This is why “you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter” is such a triumph—Taylor often frames herself as careful, in need of control and a set of values that make you deserving of what she would probably now call “good karma.” Breaking out of this mold and still having love and happiness is a dream to a young Taylor Swift in Mine.

The God’s honest truth is that the pain was Heaven.

Heaven is often used in Taylor’s songs to portray this invisible force that draws you to someone, usually a physical connection. We see it in Cruel Summer, False God, Invisible String, Happiness. And it usually has a price. There’s never an altruistic Heaven. And in this case, Heaven is paid for through the pain of the relationship.

This is how abusive relationships often work—you never know when you’ll get the good side of someone, “wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight.” It keeps you on your toes and feels exciting until it just feels exhausting and painful.

The subject, this allegorical devil, enters as the villain in this story. The use of religion in this song acts as her outlook on life, her innocence, her belief in the good in the world. She loses these pious qualities as “the devil” breaks down each and every one of her beliefs in what she thinks should be fair and right.

I’ve seen people in my comments and in other videos draw parallels from this song to The Crucible by Arthur Miller, a play about the Salem Witch Trials (and actually an allegory to McCarthyism but… details) in which the female lead, Abigail Williams, has an “affair” (she’s 17) with a pastor. In this play, there is literal dancing with the devil—or attempts to do so—but what makes this parallel interesting is that this song would be a feminist reclamation of the main character of Abigail, slut-shamed and villainized when, in this day and age, we can recognize her as a victim. Another example is Hester Prynne of The Scarlet Letter, also villainized for having an affair with a pastor.

A more modern moment in media that I think accurately captures Taylor Swift’s inner conflict with doing good can be seen in this monologue by Alicent Hightower to Rhaenyra Targaryen in The House of the Dragon: “What have I done than what was expected of me? Forever upholding the kingdom, the family, the law, while you flout all to do as you please? Where is duty, where is sacrifice?”

Putting aside the subject of this song, I think Swift also seeks to discover why, if she has been dutiful and virtuous, she still is hurt? With Alicent, Abigail, and Taylor, religion and its confines work against them. In many religions, you’re primed to believe that doing good means that God will provide in return. This is not the case.

The tomb won’t close, stained glass windows in my mind.

The windows in her mind act as a barrier to her past self—something she can look at but never reach. In Midnight Rain she also peers through a window with longing, something that separates you from what you want but can’t have. And stained glass is beautiful, made up of colorful, broken pieces of glass.

Perhaps looking through this window idealizes this past self even further, but what it also does is show how her belief system used to be something whole and is now shattered.

Stained glass windows in churches not only act as decoration, but as a way to tell stories: “Stained-glass windows served as a ‘poor man’s Bible’ in the Middle Ages, allowing believers who could not read Latin to learn the story of the Gospels.” x

These stained glass windows in her mind, much like the lines across Brandi Carlile’s face, tell the story of who she is.

Part III: GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD

A symptom of trauma is the shattering of your world view, and in this song, her whole philosophy on life has been changed because this person showed her that people can be predatory, they can hurt you and not care, they can manipulate you and betray you and take advantage of you.

“If clarity’s in death, then why won’t this die?”

This reminds me of the line in Death By A Thousand Cuts, “if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?” If this relationship is over, why am I still haunted by it? Even having the clarity of looking back on it and seeing it for what it was, that it was toxic, that it hurt her, she still can’t let go of who she used to be before.

This can also tie into the Coney Island bridge, “when I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face.” When faced with death, we realize what’s most important to us. But what was most important to her was the thing that died—her girlhood.

Taylor Swift does this thing where she’ll use more childish language or refer to lullabies or fairytales to express a childlike feeling. For example: “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put me together again.” She references “Humpty Dumpty” because she feels stuck at a younger age—she can’t grow up and it’s getting so old. In WCS, she says to give her back something because it was hers first. Children will say this about a toy, but Taylor is saying this about her girlhood. It makes the line hit so much harder when put in this childlike language.

Using this childlike language here drills down her innocence and youth, and the idea that those who aren’t yet adults have no business being blamed for a grown man’s malicious actions.

When Taylor says “God rest my soul,” this is in reference to death. People say “God rest their soul” to show respect for someone who has passed. In this case it’s not a someone but a something: her girlhood has died, and she’ll never be who she used to be because of this relationship. The tomb won’t close because she misses that old version of herself, she still feels it. The wound won’t close because it’s not as simple as moving past a breakup, it’s moving past a trauma, it’s moving past a grief.

The issue here is that moving past a grief is impossible—the hurt can soothe over time, and sometimes you’ll go full months not thinking about it, but much like a wound (as Swift metaphorizes here), phantom pains will remain forever.

Part IV: WAITING FOR A SIGN

People will say they’re waiting for a sign when they feel stuck in a situation or feel indecisive about something. The further meaning here, however, is that religion is tied to this sign she’s waiting for—she used to pray, and now that she’s lost that faith, she’s waiting for some sort of Godly presence to give her a sign. Fate now comes into play instead of God’s direct intervention.

Swift is essentially asking for a reason to believe in the things she used to believe before she was hurt irreparably by this relationship. Or perhaps the sign she’s waiting for, that is also tied to religious vernacular, is that frustrating saying “everything happen for a reason”—what is the sign, what is the meaning as to why this happened to me? And because there isn’t one (and there hardly ever is), all she can do is fight in her sleep, miss who she was, and regret this person all the time.

Conclusion: MEMORIES FEEL LIKE WEAPONS

WCS provides quite a cynical view of trauma and grief—that you’ll be hurt again, it will haunt you forever, that the pain will never abate. I don’t think Taylor sought to make that the thesis statement of the song, and more so meant to capture these moments that convince you things won’t get better.

It’s okay to express anger and hurt this way, and in fact, remembering this anger can help to recognize toxicity or abusive behavior in the future. But like in Promising Young Woman, holding onto this to the extent that it negatively impacts your life forever, that you let it sink you to the bottom and never let it let you go isn’t healthy either.

I guess what I mean to say is that while I admire Taylor Swift’s bravery in expressing something so complex in this song and so sincerely and with such passion, I also worry for listeners who may burrow themselves in this feeling without reprieve. You are worth healing, even if work goes into it and even if it’s the harder route to take.

This website offers a list of resources for victims and survivors of domestic violence and other assistance, which I pray none of you reading need but in case you do: https://ncadv.org/RESOURCES

Sincerely, Elizabeth (moonybug)